Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20001 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:00 am

Retarder S wrote:Glad to hear your daughter has nothing serious Doge. I wish I could afford a couple grand for a personality test one day. :danson:


Nothing serious? Nothing serious?!!! NOTHING SERIOUS???!!!

Seriously, there is a real issue with anxiety and/or attention/self regulation in my daughter. That needs to be addressed and it won’t be easy. I really hope the tests in two weeks will give us greater clarity in telling causes (neurological vs affective) appart. I think it’s likely both, but one can contribute more or even drive (cause) the other.

My hypothesis are on the neurological front that weakness in executive function (basically ability to self regulate/self direct) causes anxiety as she has trouble doing/living up to her and our demands and expectations. Knowing there is a neurological weakness helps in, if nothing else, having us adopt a much more patient ´coaching’ approach. Meds are also a possibility, but that really would depend on the severity and real world impact of the deficit and I don’t think we are there.

On the more affective front there is (i) the freaky helicopter parents causing anxiety possibility and (ii) the her own self-imposed perfectionism. These two also become intertwined and difficult to tell appart and are probably both true and feed off each other. Even if we always talk to her appropriately, there is undeniably high expectations of the helicopter parent variety. My wife principally, but myself as well. She could have internalized this (even if never directly spoken) and feels the pressure. On the other hand, she also has decent cognitive ability and from what I’ve read that can itself cause perfectionism. Sorta like seeing what it can be/idealize and then feeling crappy for falling short.

In any event, I think this calls for important changes as bringing down her anxiety is to me the biggest priority (by far). I actually voiced this with the neuropsy and she fully agreed. I wanted to get this on record with my wife, so she also realizes. I think we have to be more laid back (which frankly is alot easier when she is well behaved as she has been lately, but quite hard when she is confrontational). Sorta carrot and stick aproach, with neither seeming always appropriate. Keep in mind she is intense. Reactions are strong in positive and negative emotions. But we need to be extremely even keel. There is also work to be done on her, to try to change her mental perception of herself and self-worth. That may need some counselling for her. Building up her self-esteem is the biggest issue here.

Yesterday was really good for my wife. It’s largely in line with what I’ve been thinking/saying to her, but she didn’t quite see it. She was quite surprised by my daughter’s results, mostly because she sees the more « homogenous » / even keel types in her class being more applied and doing better. I kept telling her that she’s more uneven, likely has self regulation issues, but her reasoning skills are of the very strong variety. She saw her abilities as more more of the strong-average variety. I saw my daughter’s reseults being strong-average, but the potential higher and that came out through the tendency to being very intense and overfocus, strong willed/not taking direction well/questionning authority, but also lacking focus in that she is driven by interests more than « must dos », etc. Anywho, she was surprised by the results and I think having it on paper and objective accomplishes the goal of the evaluation, being to get my wife and I on the same page and better understanding my daughter and acting in accordance to who she is. It’s not my wife’s fault, this way of being (a broad) is not her reality. It’s much closer to mine, so natural that I would spot it and better understand it.

So good things, we know she is « uneven » in ability (verbal skills, processing speed, working memory scores were good, but well behind « fluid reasoning » and analytical skills. Does not do well at all when timed. Is fidgety. May have attention/self control issues and most importantly has self-esteem issues that really are priority number one. Understanding her. Accepting her as she is (understanding is a big part of that). And finally getting her to understand herself and accept herself are were we are at now. So far, this thing has accomplished exactly what I wanted. If there are attention issues, those will be harder to tackle I think. Medication does not seem appropriate at this point (and can even increase anxiety as they are stimulants). So that will be more of a try to manage the weakness thing. I’m hoping we can really hop on to the self-esteem building and get her to really understand herself and accept herself. That’s like really important. Much more impactful on her life that the rest of this stuff.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20002 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:26 am

Craig wrote:We've got a couple of guys at work who are probably on the spectrum. Terrific programmers.


I’ve mentionned before, but a former roomate of mine at Oxford, that now has a phd in math and works at google in the valley, could not answer the phone (as that could be anybody! How will he adapt so quickly to a fluid social situation!). Even if he knew me well and we got along great/spent lots of time together, he would literally mumble and bobble in place for a good 5-10 seconds everytime I knocked at his door and he opened. It was weird. Like he needed to reboot or something to adapt to having a person in front of him. After reboot, he was fine. If it was just me/others he knew. If it was new people, he’d disappear.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20003 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 8:28 am

hes married now. Good looking wife too. That’s good as he’s really a good guy.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20004 by Craig » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:41 am

Dog wrote:
Retarder S wrote:Glad to hear your daughter has nothing serious Doge. I wish I could afford a couple grand for a personality test one day. :danson:


Nothing serious? Nothing serious?!!! NOTHING SERIOUS???!!!

Seriously, there is a real issue with anxiety and/or attention/self regulation in my daughter. That needs to be addressed and it won’t be easy. I really hope the tests in two weeks will give us greater clarity in telling causes (neurological vs affective) appart. I think it’s likely both, but one can contribute more or even drive (cause) the other.

My hypothesis are on the neurological front that weakness in executive function (basically ability to self regulate/self direct) causes anxiety as she has trouble doing/living up to her and our demands and expectations. Knowing there is a neurological weakness helps in, if nothing else, having us adopt a much more patient ´coaching’ approach. Meds are also a possibility, but that really would depend on the severity and real world impact of the deficit and I don’t think we are there.

On the more affective front there is (i) the freaky helicopter parents causing anxiety possibility and (ii) the her own self-imposed perfectionism. These two also become intertwined and difficult to tell appart and are probably both true and feed off each other. Even if we always talk to her appropriately, there is undeniably high expectations of the helicopter parent variety. My wife principally, but myself as well. She could have internalized this (even if never directly spoken) and feels the pressure. On the other hand, she also has decent cognitive ability and from what I’ve read that can itself cause perfectionism. Sorta like seeing what it can be/idealize and then feeling crappy for falling short.

In any event, I think this calls for important changes as bringing down her anxiety is to me the biggest priority (by far). I actually voiced this with the neuropsy and she fully agreed. I wanted to get this on record with my wife, so she also realizes. I think we have to be more laid back (which frankly is alot easier when she is well behaved as she has been lately, but quite hard when she is confrontational). Sorta carrot and stick aproach, with neither seeming always appropriate. Keep in mind she is intense. Reactions are strong in positive and negative emotions. But we need to be extremely even keel. There is also work to be done on her, to try to change her mental perception of herself and self-worth. That may need some counselling for her. Building up her self-esteem is the biggest issue here.

Yesterday was really good for my wife. It’s largely in line with what I’ve been thinking/saying to her, but she didn’t quite see it. She was quite surprised by my daughter’s results, mostly because she sees the more « homogenous » / even keel types in her class being more applied and doing better. I kept telling her that she’s more uneven, likely has self regulation issues, but her reasoning skills are of the very strong variety. She saw her abilities as more more of the strong-average variety. I saw my daughter’s reseults being strong-average, but the potential higher and that came out through the tendency to being very intense and overfocus, strong willed/not taking direction well/questionning authority, but also lacking focus in that she is driven by interests more than « must dos », etc. Anywho, she was surprised by the results and I think having it on paper and objective accomplishes the goal of the evaluation, being to get my wife and I on the same page and better understanding my daughter and acting in accordance to who she is. It’s not my wife’s fault, this way of being (a broad) is not her reality. It’s much closer to mine, so natural that I would spot it and better understand it.

So good things, we know she is « uneven » in ability (verbal skills, processing speed, working memory scores were good, but well behind « fluid reasoning » and analytical skills. Does not do well at all when timed. Is fidgety. May have attention/self control issues and most importantly has self-esteem issues that really are priority number one. Understanding her. Accepting her as she is (understanding is a big part of that). And finally getting her to understand herself and accept herself are were we are at now. So far, this thing has accomplished exactly what I wanted. If there are attention issues, those will be harder to tackle I think. Medication does not seem appropriate at this point (and can even increase anxiety as they are stimulants). So that will be more of a try to manage the weakness thing. I’m hoping we can really hop on to the self-esteem building and get her to really understand herself and accept herself. That’s like really important. Much more impactful on her life that the rest of this stuff.


Yes, whyever might she have anxiety?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20005 by MP » Thu Nov 23, 2017 10:34 am

Mufasa wrote:Don't you guys see he's gonna be a an engineer?

Dog's daughter is getting a sex change?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20006 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:47 am

Craig wrote:
Yes, whyever might she have anxiety?


My guess, part genetics, part helicopter parents, part low self regulation (causing her to be unable to do what she wants), part perfectionism coming from tendency to idealize.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20007 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:48 am

MP wrote:
Mufasa wrote:Don't you guys see he's gonna be a an engineer?

Dog's daughter is getting a sex change?


To get rid of the career limiting effects of estrogen?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20008 by Retardé S » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:11 pm

Dog wrote:
Retarder S wrote:Glad to hear your daughter has nothing serious Doge. I wish I could afford a couple grand for a personality test one day. :danson:


Nothing serious? Nothing serious?!!! NOTHING SERIOUS???!!!

Seriously, there is a real issue with anxiety and/or attention/self regulation in my daughter. That needs to be addressed and it won’t be easy. I really hope the tests in two weeks will give us greater clarity in telling causes (neurological vs affective) appart. I think it’s likely both, but one can contribute more or even drive (cause) the other.

My hypothesis are on the neurological front that weakness in executive function (basically ability to self regulate/self direct) causes anxiety as she has trouble doing/living up to her and our demands and expectations. Knowing there is a neurological weakness helps in, if nothing else, having us adopt a much more patient ´coaching’ approach. Meds are also a possibility, but that really would depend on the severity and real world impact of the deficit and I don’t think we are there.

On the more affective front there is (i) the freaky helicopter parents causing anxiety possibility and (ii) the her own self-imposed perfectionism. These two also become intertwined and difficult to tell appart and are probably both true and feed off each other. Even if we always talk to her appropriately, there is undeniably high expectations of the helicopter parent variety. My wife principally, but myself as well. She could have internalized this (even if never directly spoken) and feels the pressure. On the other hand, she also has decent cognitive ability and from what I’ve read that can itself cause perfectionism. Sorta like seeing what it can be/idealize and then feeling crappy for falling short.

In any event, I think this calls for important changes as bringing down her anxiety is to me the biggest priority (by far). I actually voiced this with the neuropsy and she fully agreed. I wanted to get this on record with my wife, so she also realizes. I think we have to be more laid back (which frankly is alot easier when she is well behaved as she has been lately, but quite hard when she is confrontational). Sorta carrot and stick aproach, with neither seeming always appropriate. Keep in mind she is intense. Reactions are strong in positive and negative emotions. But we need to be extremely even keel. There is also work to be done on her, to try to change her mental perception of herself and self-worth. That may need some counselling for her. Building up her self-esteem is the biggest issue here.

Yesterday was really good for my wife. It’s largely in line with what I’ve been thinking/saying to her, but she didn’t quite see it. She was quite surprised by my daughter’s results, mostly because she sees the more « homogenous » / even keel types in her class being more applied and doing better. I kept telling her that she’s more uneven, likely has self regulation issues, but her reasoning skills are of the very strong variety. She saw her abilities as more more of the strong-average variety. I saw my daughter’s reseults being strong-average, but the potential higher and that came out through the tendency to being very intense and overfocus, strong willed/not taking direction well/questionning authority, but also lacking focus in that she is driven by interests more than « must dos », etc. Anywho, she was surprised by the results and I think having it on paper and objective accomplishes the goal of the evaluation, being to get my wife and I on the same page and better understanding my daughter and acting in accordance to who she is. It’s not my wife’s fault, this way of being (a broad) is not her reality. It’s much closer to mine, so natural that I would spot it and better understand it.

So good things, we know she is « uneven » in ability (verbal skills, processing speed, working memory scores were good, but well behind « fluid reasoning » and analytical skills. Does not do well at all when timed. Is fidgety. May have attention/self control issues and most importantly has self-esteem issues that really are priority number one. Understanding her. Accepting her as she is (understanding is a big part of that). And finally getting her to understand herself and accept herself are were we are at now. So far, this thing has accomplished exactly what I wanted. If there are attention issues, those will be harder to tackle I think. Medication does not seem appropriate at this point (and can even increase anxiety as they are stimulants). So that will be more of a try to manage the weakness thing. I’m hoping we can really hop on to the self-esteem building and get her to really understand herself and accept herself. That’s like really important. Much more impactful on her life that the rest of this stuff.


She'll be fine Dog. It actually resonates a lot with me. I'm an anxious person due to my perfectionism and have a hard time managing my stress level when I'm given an assignment with deadlines and directions, it used to come out with very acute irritability and developing feelings of inadequacy. I've only been aware of that for a few years and been actively trying to get better (psych. sessions, meditation).

I've basically learned to dealwithit.jpeg. Early adulthood was a huge struggle emotionally. I'm glad you as a parent detected that so early, and you'll know how to get through to her.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20009 by Mufasa » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:39 pm

It all seems like a capitalism problem to me.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20010 by AD » Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:01 pm

Aren't they all, comrade?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20011 by MP » Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:22 pm

Dog wrote:
MP wrote:
Mufasa wrote:Don't you guys see he's gonna be a an engineer?

Dog's daughter is getting a sex change?


To get rid of the career limiting effects of estrogen?


Frankly, I suggest you and the Missus getting working on Fido v3.0 before its too late...
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20012 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:44 pm

Retarder S wrote:
She'll be fine Dog. It actually resonates a lot with me. I'm an anxious person due to my perfectionism and have a hard time managing my stress level when I'm given an assignment with deadlines and directions, it used to come out with very acute irritability and developing feelings of inadequacy. I've only been aware of that for a few years and been actively trying to get better (psych. sessions, meditation).

I've basically learned to dealwithit.jpeg. Early adulthood was a huge struggle emotionally. I'm glad you as a parent detected that so early, and you'll know how to get through to her.


I’m kinda similar, but she is a MOAR version. I’m a bit anxious, why wife is alot but we are so differently. I need to understand stuff. That’s like my dna. Not any stuff. The stuff that grabs my attention. Is that ADD? Depends how you look at it. Is it the defense (executive function / inhibition control) that’s too weak or the stimulous perception / sensitivity that’s too high? It could be either or both.

Just finished an 1h15 call with the neuropsy. Think we caught a good one. She had follow up questions and was trying to really get a full portrait and really understand. She really congratulated us on being so observant and having antenas perked up so much and being so thoughtful in how we’ve analyzed this. In front of my wife. My wife called back saying I was right, she didn’t see it but the neurospy is taken back by our observations. Hehehe. So many brownie points i’ll get from this.

But seriously, I’m similar so it’s not that much of a stretch. Not surprised you are similar either and many others here would be. I’ve read a ton about asynchronous development which seems to be at play here. It’s basically when reasoning capabilities outpace emotional capabilities, which you can get with smart kids. Kids understanding profound/existanial stuff that many adults never do but still having the emotional maturity of like a kid. So they don’t deal well. Internalize a bunch of unrealistic expectations about themselves and then feel crappy about not being perfect. They tend to be intense, be very sensitive and controlling. I always thought this was it, but didn’t want to presume. In my daughter’s case, there may be an additional layer of lower executive function that just makes it worse.

The emotional effects of this on a kid can be far reaching. She’s developping a negative self view, not finding herself capable when we don’t stop telling her her qualities. She says she understands it in her head not in her heart. We’ll have to have her work with a psychologist to correct some cognitive mistakes she makes by setting such high standards for herself. We also have to change, but much more relaxed. The best thing about this is that it seems to have shocked open my wife’s eyes. At the same time, it’s not easy, she’s not this passive kid. She’s willful and stubborn and confrontational and you do have to set boundaries and enforce them. Can’t just walk on eggshells and have her rule the house. It’s a tough balancing act. But, it’s what we have and the positives far outweigh the negatives.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20013 by Mufasa » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:06 pm

AD wrote:Aren't they all, comrade?


They are. All hail the bureaucratic socialism. As much as people make 1984 look like a nightmare, i think it's a pretty neat place (except for the fake war and everything) but it's not like i want to know how everything works and that i want to be part of people assembly to choose what we're gonna do with the aqueduc. I'd be really happy if we'd have have algorythm running things and robots doing the work, while we developpe our potential and build new things. Marxist administration, Neatszchean way of life.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20014 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:26 pm

Mufasa wrote:I'd be really happy if we'd have have algorythm running things



Oh, but we do, mufasta. We do.

:paranoid:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20015 by Mufasa » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:29 pm

If that algorythm wasn't about making an handful of people richer.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20016 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 2:50 pm

Mufasa wrote:If that algorythm wasn't about making an handful of people richer.


It’s not. Far as I can tell, it is about energy dissipation until equilibrium. In an ever expanding universe, equilibrium is ever closer to absolute zero. A state of non motion and hence non temporal existence. An energy explosion creating spacetime as it expands until it stretches out into non existence.

That’s pretty much all we know is happening. Unrelentlessly. Automatically. Why or how or if those questions even have any meaning, we don’t know.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20017 by Macbeth » Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:38 pm

Once again, how about letting her be a fucking kid ?

I get the interest and the analysis, but there is no way this kid isn't getting BAD VIBES from you two mongoloids - no offence.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20018 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:47 pm

I don’t think she notices the daily brain MRIs. We’re not stupid, we wait until she is asleep, macbeth.

Seriously, it sounds much more intense than it is. i over analyse in my head and on the internets, not to her. The intensity is in the over analysis, not in my interractions with her. I’m fairly goofy/laid back with her. Wife is a more disciplined type. None of this would be an issue with a non overly sensitive and intense kid. She basically started yelling at us when she turned 6 days old and never really let down (albeit the intensity has morphed in style).
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20019 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 5:02 pm

Very simply, it’s about how to handle a kid that can be both very stubborn, controlling and confrontational on one hand and very sensitive on the other. Not at the same time, most of the time. You can’t let her run the place because you are scared of saying anything because she is « sensitive » but you can’t clamp down too much because she also has a big need for autonomy. It’s a tough balancing act with an intense kid.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20020 by Macbeth » Thu Nov 23, 2017 5:47 pm

Dog wrote:Very simply, it’s about how to handle a kid that can be both very stubborn, controlling and confrontational on one hand and very sensitive on the other. Not at the same time, most of the time. You can’t let her run the place because you are scared of saying anything because she is « sensitive » but you can’t clamp down too much because she also has a big need for autonomy. It’s a tough balancing act with an intense kid.

Ya fookin whip it, bruv.

I understand the whole thing, rearing up a kid is an amazing endeavour.

It's obvious to me we are overcompensating for the weird-ass way parents used to raise kids - and us ! - since time immemorial until the 1990s.

The devil is in overthinking the process, I find, and we fail mostly when we succumb to our innermost fears and foibles and weaknesses and worries and anxieties.

It's nice you can afford (financially and socially and culturally) to have your kid assessed in this way, it is fascinating, but I wonder just how useful and pertinent it all is in the end.


































Cuz' she gon' get raped anyway.

:colbert:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20021 by Dog » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:18 pm

I had like good parents, though. Don’t know that I’m overcompensating. This is just the way I am. Au naturel.

:nucks:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20022 by clawfirst » Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:47 pm

The best thing dog could do for his daughter is to have another kid for his wife to be busy with
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20023 by Slick Nick » Thu Nov 23, 2017 10:13 pm

Dog wrote:I don’t think she notices the daily brain MRIs. We’re not stupid, we wait until she is asleep, macbeth.

Seriously, it sounds much more intense than it is. i over analyse in my head and on the internets, not to her. The intensity is in the over analysis, not in my interractions with her. I’m fairly goofy/laid back with her. Wife is a more disciplined type. None of this would be an issue with a non overly sensitive and intense kid. She basically started yelling at us when she turned 6 days old and never really let down (albeit the intensity has morphed in style).


Maybe you stop being such a poof and show her what an angry dad looks like.


Image
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20024 by Macbeth » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:08 pm

Dog wrote:I had like good parents, though. Don’t know that I’m overcompensating. This is just the way I am. Au naturel.

:nucks:

I was not saying it was all bad parenting. :colbert:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20025 by AD » Fri Nov 24, 2017 7:45 am

clawfirst wrote:The best thing dog could do for his daughter is to have another kid for his wife to be busy with


Whoa whoa whoa... some of us are done having kids Claw.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20026 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:45 am

AD wrote:
clawfirst wrote:The best thing dog could do for his daughter is to have another kid for his wife to be busy with


Whoa whoa whoa... some of us are done having kids Claw.


Leaving behind a mess for other people to clean up. For shame!


Wait, what are we talking about?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20027 by MP » Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:31 am

AD wrote:
clawfirst wrote:The best thing dog could do for his daughter is to have another kid for his wife to be busy with


Whoa whoa whoa... some of us are done having kids Claw.

Could you please define "having"?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20028 by LC » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:08 pm

:stare:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20029 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:21 pm

LC wrote::stare:



Yeah, I think these guys have gone off the deep end, LC.

:paranoid:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20030 by LC » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:26 pm

Dog wrote:
LC wrote::stare:



Yeah, I think these guys have gone off the deep end, LC.

:paranoid:


All this anxiety talk is boorish.

Now crippling depression is where its at.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20031 by LC » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:35 pm

Oh and to my friends in Montreal, a old college buddy of mine is the headliner at the Comedy Works on St Denis tonight. Hes actually quite good and worth a look if youre into stand up.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20032 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:42 pm

LC wrote:
Dog wrote:
LC wrote::stare:



Yeah, I think these guys have gone off the deep end, LC.

:paranoid:


All this anxiety talk is boorish.

Now crippling depression is where its at.


I know less about depression per se, other than anxiety can cause it. For no reason other than i’ve anecdotally seen people with anxiety issues have bouts of depression. It can wear down the nervous system .

Otherwise, with limited knowledge, i’d think it’s strongly influenced by genetics. Some people are naturally more rose coloured glasses and others less. Hopefully meds adressing chemical imbalances and therapy changing cognitive perceptions can help.

It’s important, I think, to view this as any other physical ailment. Like diabetes or somewhat, because that’s exactly what it is.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20033 by AD » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:23 pm

My wife and I may be splitting up. Fun times.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20034 by Mufasa » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:49 pm

AD wrote:My wife and I may be splitting up. Fun times.


Just after you moved in to your new place. Good luck bruv, you have the cojones to go through that, I believe in you.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20035 by LC » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:50 pm

Dog wrote:
LC wrote:
Dog wrote:

Yeah, I think these guys have gone off the deep end, LC.

:paranoid:


All this anxiety talk is boorish.

Now crippling depression is where its at.


I know less about depression per se, other than anxiety can cause it. For no reason other than i’ve anecdotally seen people with anxiety issues have bouts of depression. It can wear down the nervous system .

Otherwise, with limited knowledge, i’d think it’s strongly influenced by genetics. Some people are naturally more rose coloured glasses and others less. Hopefully meds adressing chemical imbalances and therapy changing cognitive perceptions can help.

It’s important, I think, to view this as any other physical ailment. Like diabetes or somewhat, because that’s exactly what it is.



Like you said, I think most people are more prone to one or the other. Speaking from experience, pills helped bring me back up to a solid footing and then I was able to wean off fairly easily.

Mental health man- its a constant work in progress
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20036 by LC » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:51 pm

AD wrote:My wife and I may be splitting up. Fun times.


Godspeed soldier.

Hope things work out for the best.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20037 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:18 pm

AD wrote:My wife and I may be splitting up. Fun times.


Urgh, sorry man. I’m here (well, actualy here in the real world) if you want to talk or need anything.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20038 by Boring Choice #2 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:34 pm

i'm sure the biggest question on all our minds is who is going to be the one to end up get alimony when all is said and done?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20039 by MP » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:37 pm

I think the bigger question is what did AD do this time?
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20040 by Boring Choice #2 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:41 pm

MP wrote:I think the bigger question is what did AD do this time?


meh. it happens. if it's better for them to not be married and they remain civil to one another, it's best for the kids. i wouldn't wish this on anyone, but i wouldn't wish a (potentially) bad marriage on kids either.

really, the only other question that came to mind was "if there were another broads mvp contest, would this mean that mrs. ad would show up and vote against the banana or would she just not bother anymore?" :nudgenudgewinkwink:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20041 by AD » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:42 pm

Boring Choice #2 wrote:really, the only other question that came to mind was "if there were another broads mvp contest, would this mean that mrs. ad would show up and vote against the banana or would she just not bother anymore?" :nudgenudgewinkwink:


:why:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20042 by LC » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:45 pm

Boring Choice #2 wrote:
MP wrote: but i wouldn't wish a (potentially) bad marriage on kids either.



Hmm I should really rethink my strategy

:pitbull:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20043 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:50 pm

Marriages are tough and you guys each have heavy work/travel schedules that, with the demands of a young family, must be very straining. You’re both smart people and i’m sure you’ll work it out for the best.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20044 by Slick Nick » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:51 pm

Stay safe banes.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20045 by Slick Nick » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:56 pm

Dog wrote:
LC wrote:
Dog wrote:

Yeah, I think these guys have gone off the deep end, LC.

:paranoid:


All this anxiety talk is boorish.

Now crippling depression is where its at.


I know less about depression per se, other than anxiety can cause it. For no reason other than i’ve anecdotally seen people with anxiety issues have bouts of depression. It can wear down the nervous system .

Otherwise, with limited knowledge, i’d think it’s strongly influenced by genetics. Some people are naturally more rose coloured glasses and others less. Hopefully meds adressing chemical imbalances and therapy changing cognitive perceptions can help.

It’s important, I think, to view this as any other physical ailment. Like diabetes or somewhat, because that’s exactly what it is.


There hasn't been any progress in depression meds since like the 80s.. and those don't do better than placebo... getting high of horse ansthetics is the only hope.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20046 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:21 pm

I thought placebos were fairly effective, no? Maybe the problem is that people don’t believe in placebos.

:danson:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20047 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:25 pm

My wife is borderline unbearable when stressed out or overly tired and she’s stressed out and overly tired often during the school year. She’d say I’m too laid back / a lazy bum and she has to constantly push for everything.

The truth is that we are simply on different wavelengths. She’s fast and nervous, I’m slow and reflective. We’ve adapted to one another over the years, but still get stretched close to the limt when she gets into a particularly irritable stretch. I noticed a long time ago that things are much better (almost perfect) when she has low stress. So, I take it as an anxiety issue. Push her to try to address it and she does to some extent. Sometimes she loses control, and we try to bring it back. It’s always a balancing act, however. On the flip side, she puts up with my insanity. I overthink, alot. I get ingrossed/develop an interest in something and go nuts. I’m in my head, not a very practical person (I do what I need to get by practically speaking -but my fun is in my head). She’s much more practical. Practical gets the lunches made and dishes clean.

So, kinda see it that nobody is at fault. The winning zone is when we meet in the middle, but we have naturally different styles and so revert back to default every so often. However, we are a good match on other important things, mainly strong family values and similar life philosophies. These shared values are why we got together and stuck it out.

So, it works with periods of “god she’s nuts, don’t know if i can/should take this shit” to her “god, he’s crazy, why can’t he be a normal person” and periods where i’m not crazy intense and she’s not crazy anxious where it’s good. Honestly, if we weren’t married with a kid, I doubt I wouldn’t have moved on during a bad patch and same goes for her to. But we committed (I hesitated like a mofo, was fully cognizant of all the above up front and ultimately decided the plusses outweigh the minuses) and stick to it understanding it’s a bargain of plusses and minusses. At some point, though, if one or the other decides it’s no longer what they want, then I also think that’s fair enough. Then I’d think it’s about keeping it civil if possible and minimizing impact on the kids.

Not making this about me. Just sharing. Most everybody, I think, has substantial marital issues. #broadssharing
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20048 by Mufasa » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:31 pm

I wonder what's the biggest downer this year, the hockey thread or the broads thread.
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20049 by Dog » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:33 pm

Mufasa wrote:I wonder what's the biggest downer this year, the hockey thread or the broads thread.


That’s the other thing. I don’t really get down. It’s like everything is always ok, nobody’s fault really. Just different folks in different circumstances.

:why:
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Re: Habs Broads: Everything is meh and everbody is meh

Post #20050 by Mufasa » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:36 pm

Dog wrote:
Mufasa wrote:I wonder what's the biggest downer this year, the hockey thread or the broads thread.


That’s the other thing. I don’t really get down. It’s like everything is always ok, nobody’s fault really. Just different folks in different circumstances.

:why:


Your genetic should be cloned.

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