2016 offseason tire fire thread

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King Ryan
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2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #1 by King Ryan » Sun Apr 10, 2016 4:00 pm

Well that season went as expected for everyone except the people in charge.

The following free agents can get the Fuck out now

Bartkowski
Prust
Weber
Vey
Vrbata

I'd like to keep hamhuis for 2m but doubt that happens.

Please buy out Dorsett and trade Miller for a partially functioning super Nintendo.

Please don't buy out Burrows.

Please don't sign lucic to a stupid contract.

Please win a top 3 spot in the lottery.

Please don't do any other stupid things that I can't even think of.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #2 by Cao » Sun Apr 10, 2016 5:39 pm

this season went worse than i thought it would

i mean yeah benning blah blah but desjardins truly did a shit job when you consider the fact that a team with the sedins and a top pairing of edler-tanev finished third last. i know they said his job was safe but i cant imagine them holding onto that 100% after the exit interviews. the sedins are gonna rip him a new one.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #3 by King Ryan » Sun Apr 10, 2016 6:21 pm

Seemed like the team quit after Linden announced Willie would be back. I don't know the exact timing but I swear it was like Linden made that announcement and then we got shutout 4 times in 5 games.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #4 by Bim Jenning » Sun Apr 10, 2016 8:11 pm

I can't wait for them to buyout Burrows for no fucking reason. Literally, the cap savings will be so negligible, it would be absurd.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #5 by aptar » Sun Apr 10, 2016 9:22 pm

I have a theory that any one sporting a moustache isn't going to have progressive views on coaching.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #6 by 19nazzy » Sun Apr 10, 2016 10:29 pm

Bim Jenning wrote:I can't wait for them to buyout Burrows for no fucking reason. Literally, the cap savings will be so negligible, it would be absurd.

I didn't even know these rumours existed until recently, and they're mind boggingly stupid.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #7 by Cao » Sun Apr 10, 2016 10:38 pm

derek dorsett led the league in penalty minutes

better keep him so he can mentor jake virtanen on how to truly be a shithead.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #8 by Hooker » Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:18 pm

To be fair, he tied for 14th in minor penalties, at 31. Byfuglien was first at 47. Fighting majors don't really do anything other than get Dorsett off the ice for at least five minutes, which is actually a net gain.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #9 by Cao » Mon Apr 11, 2016 3:31 am

Hooker wrote:To be fair, he tied for 14th in minor penalties, at 31. Byfuglien was first at 47. Fighting majors don't really do anything other than get Dorsett off the ice for at least five minutes, which is actually a net gain.

not for the canucks

sure, you keep dorsett off the ice for a while, but then willie overplays him to make up for lost time
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #10 by Jyrki21 » Mon Apr 11, 2016 9:29 am

Cao wrote:this season went worse than i thought it would

i mean yeah benning blah blah but desjardins truly did a shit job when you consider the fact that a team with the sedins and a top pairing of edler-tanev finished third last. i know they said his job was safe but i cant imagine them holding onto that 100% after the exit interviews. the sedins are gonna rip him a new one.

Yeah, the Canucks, on paper, legitimately aren't as bad as they finished, I don't think. Willie just made sure to use the assets at his disposal in the poorest way possible. It turns out this is a good thing for this year, because I don't think the team would have made the playoffs even with better deployment, but moving forward it's definitely a concern.

If the Canucks were a middle-of-the-pack team, I might even go so far as to say that Desjardins is a bigger problem than Benning. (But since they're not, he's not).
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #11 by Cao » Tue Apr 12, 2016 8:48 pm

summary of today's year end presser

http://blogs.theprovince.com/2016/04/12 ... d-benning/
1/ Trevor Linden is a closet member of Team Tank

The most telling moment when the Canucks management conducted its public post-mortem was the last one.
For the first time in 90 minutes, one of them smiled in a meaningful, spontaneous way.
It was Linden and it was when he was asked about the draft lottery and the potential of Auston Matthews.
“I don’t want to get too excited,” Linden said.
“I have not touched the (draft) simulator. I’ve watched people touch the simulator, and it’s kind of fun.”

Nice development, because the only fun being had during the past eight months in Rogers Arena has been in the visitor’s dressing room.

If the Canucks had their way, however, they’d never be in this position. They’d be drafting 18th or 19th, year after year, hoping the right player falls their way in June.

The team’s hopeless season spent the past six weeks achingly circling the drain. But the end result is, potentially, precisely what the organization has needed for years. That is, a high draft pick with the potential to take a prospect that can move the ground.
“We are three now, and there is excitement of going to (No. 1) but the fear of dropping is a bigger part of it,” Linden admitted.
That Linden quote wouldn’t be out of place on the flag which has been waved all year by members of the lower mainland’s “tank nation” club.
The higher the pick, the better chance to get a quality player and that is an indisputable fact.
So much so, Linden “fears” his team will drop just three slots.

If the Canucks had their way, they’d never be in this position. They’d be drafting 18th or 19th, year after year, hoping the right player falls their way in June.

2/ Benning has wiped out the Summer Summit from his memory

To be honest, after getting booed like that, I think anyone would have.

“We could have moved Ryan Miller,” Benning revealed in July without being asked about it at the Summer Summit. “There were teams calling on Ryan Miller.”
The story softened Tuesday when asked by the media if he’d re-visit a Miller trade, to audible gasps from the press corps.

“There really wasn’t any opportunity to trade him last year,” Benning said today. “I think what you’re referring to is a team called about him, and asked about him.
“It didn’t get to anywhere where there was going to be a trade. They inquired about him.”

This story is almost more troubling. San Jose called about Miller and it didn’t go anywhere? Not even a question about what they’d offer?

At least it probably means the Canucks have forgotten Tanbir.

3/ Willie knows nothing is final in Van till the owners say it’s final

Asked about the many votes of confidence Linden has given him, coach Willie said:

“When he says things, I believe him.”

But?

“I know he’s in a spot where things may change for him.”

Wait, what?

Linden says everyone is coming back. The coach, and the front office.

“I’m really happy with where we are. I think Jim has done an excellent job.”

People, however, were mostly talking about the front office change impacting Linden the most, taking his role as he was bumped up, not Benning’s.

4/ Linden didn’t mean this one from one of those Town Halls six weeks ago:

Screen Shot 2016-04-12 at 4.10.37 PM

Linden: “What I said was, knowing where we were with our older group and our younger group, we needed things to go right.

“We needed good performances from our older group and we needed our younger players to stand up and we needed good goaltending (to make the playoffs).”

5/ The best news, and the worst, was the Henrik’s injuries

Linden revealed the captain suffered hip and back injuries in December, which is a little alarming considering his age and mileage.

The broken finger revelation, however, was the best news of the day, because it finally explains what happened to the twins down the stretch.

6/ Benning likes Eriksson wink wink

With Lucic having little interest in Vancouver, rumours have switched to Loui Eriksson.

As the story goes, the Canucks would want to sign him, then look to move Jannik Hansen.

Benning was asked about the signing part today.

“We’re going to look … I’m not going to comment on other teams players right now but if there’s a player who is around 30 and has a connection with our group and we think is going to be a good fit playing with our players and is going to be part of helping our young players develop then we will look at everything.”

Funny, there is one player like that…

7/ Willie thinks the injuries a “silver lining”

The coach admitted the young players wouldn’t have got much opportunity if the Canucks were healthy.

“Look at Tryamkin. Now he knows what he needs to do.

“If he got one game for us, he wouldn’t have near the chance to be good.”

Hmm

What would happen if you played all the young guys again, this time on purpose?

8/ Willie thinks the Tan Man can help generate offence

Yes, really.

“Tanev came in at the end of the year. We like a right hand shot (on the pp). He’s a right hand shot who can play that.

“He hasn’t played a lot in that role.”

With good reason.

“He’s got to develop.”

That could be a long wait.

9/ Benning thinks Edler is a No. 1 dman

The most memorable moments unseen during the past two days was probably Farhan’s face when Drancer was arguing that Edler was a top 25 defenceman.

Wish I saw it melting when Benning suggested Edler was a legit No. 1.

“When he’s at his best, he can be that guy for us. He’s big. He’s strong. He’s physical. He can move the puck for us,” Benning said when asked whether the Canucks can compete without a true No. 1.

10/ Benning thinks Larsen can run the power play next year.

Don’t know what to say on that one.

11/ Canucks claim they will go BPA

Most think the Canucks want a defenceman in the first round because, well, they said they want a defenceman in the first round.

On March 9 and 10, Benning said basically this at both a town hall and on the radio:

We haven’t drafted a defenceman in ten years in the first round, so all things being equal, if there’s a defenceman that we really like with our pick, we’re gonna lean in that direction. The fact that it’s out there, I’m okay with that.

It is couched with “all things being equal” but the suggestion definitely was there that they prefer D/

His comment today was a bit confusing (because the Canucks were drafting in the top 10 when he mentioned D in early March) but this is the way he sees it now:

“At the time we were drafting 14, 15, 16 in the draft, and fighting for a playoff spot, and I thought we could get a good defenceman who would be equivalent to the forward we could get there.

“But things have changed now. Right now, we’re at three, so we’re going to take the best player available.”

12/ Benning calls it “supper.”

13/ Benning said “sustainable winning” and it may be the best catch phrase he’s used here. He should probably use it more often

“After the playoffs, I felt we needed to transition younger players into our group and start developing that next group which we can win with for a long time.

“Sustainable winning, I call it.”

14/ Benning doesn’t think players become team guys until their third year

In another bit of Benning-isms, he said players in their first and second year obsess too often about themselves.

As in, thinking about how they will stay in the league, tomorrow and beyond.

“When players get to their third year, they’re comfortable and they get out of themselves and they can think about the team game.”

15/ Benning said he had no idea what Drancer meant when asked if the team could improve its asset management

“Is it the trade deadline,” the GM asked

“To clarify, I was also asking about waivers, LTIR, and some of those complicated things.”

Benning said the Canucks were in LTI all year.

“We had 35 players here this year. Maybe it’s we got to be better going forward, maybe it’s the 22nd to 28th player in our organization.”

16/ Benning was unaware that so many defencemen get hurt in Va

As predictable as the rain, the Canucks defence goes through 11 players every year.

Guess no one told the GM.

“The one thing I’ve learned since I got here, is that both years now we’ve been on our 11th defenceman. I’ve never seen anything like it.

“So, when you’re building a team, out East we’d talk about ‘who is our 7th, 8th and ninth going to be?’

“Here we’re talking about our 10th, 11th and 12th.”

17/ Benning doesn’t believe he can prepare for the expansion draft

The GM said he can’t do that until the NHL announces expansion is “for sure going to happen.”

Thing is, there are many decisions which could impact the players they can protect and the ones they don’t need to.

I’m going to assume the GM was being uncharacteristically coy.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #12 by Cao » Tue Apr 12, 2016 8:49 pm

if they trade hansen and buy out burrows, can we get that idiot with the FIRE GILLIS sign to make a bunch of noise in front of rogers arena? seems like francesco listens to the dumbest fans
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #13 by 19nazzy » Tue Apr 12, 2016 10:31 pm

Benning can't prepare for the potential expansion draft?

He sounds like the guy who goes to the store 30 minutes before a hurricane shows up and everything is gone.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #14 by Jyrki21 » Wed Apr 13, 2016 4:45 pm

I'd like to believe that Botch's refraining from placing a question mark at the end of a question asked by Benning (in no. 15) is due to my influence.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #15 by Jyrki21 » Fri Apr 15, 2016 2:20 pm

Alright folks, here's the 9th edition of Benning on Empty: "The Majestic Striped Beast"

Image
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #16 by Vector » Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:01 pm

I like Linden being the sensible one.

Wilbrod...Wilbrod...no idea that was his real name.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #17 by Jyrki21 » Fri Apr 15, 2016 3:05 pm

Vector wrote:I like Linden being the sensible one.

Wilbrod...Wilbrod...no idea that was his real name.

It's stuck with me because it's the name of the first street I lived on in Ottawa.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #18 by King Ryan » Fri Apr 15, 2016 7:24 pm

19nazzy wrote:Benning can't prepare for the potential expansion draft?

He sounds like the guy who goes to the store 30 minutes before a hurricane shows up and everything is gone.

Hey, I'm that guy...
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #19 by King Ryan » Fri Apr 15, 2016 7:31 pm

I always giggle when I'm watching a game and that guy, bortuzzo, is playing. It just makes me think of Todd bertuzzi getting caught doing something wrong and using that as is fake name. My name is... Dodd.... Bortuzzo...

I don't know why I wanted to mention that but there you go.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #20 by Cao » Sat Apr 16, 2016 1:10 am

I can't watch playoff hockey because actual good teams are playing and it makes me sad that the Canucks used to be at that level and have cratered since then.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #21 by Jyrki21 » Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:39 am

King Ryan wrote:I always giggle when I'm watching a game and that guy, bortuzzo, is playing. It just makes me think of Todd bertuzzi getting caught doing something wrong and using that as is fake name. My name is... Dodd.... Bortuzzo...

I don't know why I wanted to mention that but there you go.

Plus he was involved in a disciplinary situation last year, wasn't he? I remember chuckling over there now also being a "Bortuzzo Incident"™.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #22 by Tripwyre » Mon Apr 18, 2016 4:46 pm

Kyle Wellwood is guesting on Real Good Show tonight for Episode 42 if there's anything you want us to ask him about...?
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #23 by Vector » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:08 pm

Tripwyre wrote:Kyle Wellwood is guesting on Real Good Show tonight for Episode 42 if there's anything you want us to ask him about...?


Ask him the significance of his number and make a very big wink. He'll understand that we're connected and maybe will have a "The Game"-like freakout.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #24 by Cao » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:19 pm

spoilers: 42 doesn't mean anything, he was just given that number and couldn't give less of a shit what number he wore
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #25 by Vector » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:25 pm

Cao wrote:spoilers: 42 doesn't mean anything, he was just given that number and couldn't give less of a shit what number he wore


And Olli Jokinen tried to buy his number off him in Winnipeg but didn't give a shit because it was Olli Jokinen. Kyle Wellwood is a great man.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #26 by Tripwyre » Mon Apr 18, 2016 5:25 pm

Considering he would only come on the show if it was for episode 42, I'm pretty sure 42 must mean something.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #27 by rod stewart » Mon Apr 18, 2016 6:02 pm

ask him if he's aware of the logistical nightmare that is fire safety and prevention for privately owned islands
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #28 by Vector » Mon Apr 18, 2016 6:23 pm

Tripwyre wrote:Considering he would only come on the show if it was for episode 42, I'm pretty sure 42 must mean something.


Seriously, ask him about it. It's great. He just didn't give a shit and just kept getting the number. When he was on Winnipeg he was given 13 and just didn't care.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #29 by Cao » Mon Apr 18, 2016 6:48 pm

maybe kyle wellwood just told us that to fuck with us....................

i'm sure you guys will talk with him about how much the current canucks suck, so maybe ask him what he thought of mike gillis/AV when he was playing for them
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #30 by aptar » Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:24 pm

Tripwyre wrote:Kyle Wellwood is guesting on Real Good Show tonight for Episode 42 if there's anything you want us to ask him about...?

If you were the new commissioner of the National Glory Hole League, what rule changes would you implement for mainstream acceptance?
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #31 by Killface » Mon Apr 18, 2016 10:38 pm

Cao wrote:maybe kyle wellwood just told us that to fuck with us....................

i'm sure you guys will talk with him about how much the current canucks suck, so maybe ask him what he thought of mike gillis/AV when he was playing for them


Related - Ask him how much his negotiation process changed
depending on the IQ of the GM. Did his agent pump up his advanced stats when negotiating with Gillis? If he was negotiating with Benning would he draw a picture of himself scoring the Cup winning goal and submit that in place of a resume?
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #32 by Hooker » Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:59 am

Ask him to estimate how much ice cream he's had this week.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #33 by rod stewart » Tue Apr 19, 2016 1:29 am

tell wellwood that cao thinks he has a radiant smile. then as he begins to ask who cao is, spit in his mouth, light the table on fire, hop on your razr scooter and get outta there, ALL THE WHILE COOING LIKE A DOVE

thx
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #34 by Cao » Tue Apr 19, 2016 6:32 am

rod stewart wrote:tell wellwood that cao thinks he has a radiant smile. then as he begins to ask who cao is, spit in his mouth, light the table on fire, hop on your razr scooter and get outta there, ALL THE WHILE COOING LIKE A DOVE

thx

i do think he has a radiant smile!
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #35 by Tripwyre » Wed Apr 20, 2016 3:45 pm

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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #36 by Cao » Wed Apr 20, 2016 3:52 pm

that owned

I still can't believe you got welly on the podcast, and I can't believe you know cone from sum 41

(Also I just found out that the singer from Gob is in sum 41)
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #37 by aptar » Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:03 pm

That was really one of the best episodes I've listened to. Had a perma smile the whole time. I thought he might be really awkward and have no chemistry, but he's actually hilarious.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #38 by Killface » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:55 pm



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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #39 by rod stewart » Thu Apr 21, 2016 6:23 pm

like, even the greatest of benning satire fails to do justice to the man himself
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #40 by rod stewart » Thu Apr 21, 2016 6:49 pm

i kinda wanna print that quote out, frame it, lock it in a safe and bury it deep underground in hopes that some future civilization discovers it



(and knows how to read english)













(a civilization compromised of preferably whatever space race is closest to caucasians)
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #41 by King Ryan » Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:05 pm

aptar wrote:That was really one of the best episodes I've listened to. Had a perma smile the whole time. I thought he might be really awkward and have no chemistry, but he's actually hilarious.


Yeah, well done.

"Was that the first time you've been to MSG not as a player?"
"Well I was there as a healthy scratch a few times."

I wish I'd remembered to send some question about how he never took penalties but AV always used him to serve bench penalties. I always loved something about that.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #42 by Vector » Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:16 pm

In defense of Benning, he said that as a joke.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #43 by King Ryan » Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:35 pm

Just about anyone else and you'd assume it was in jest, but with Benning...
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #44 by Cao » Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:40 pm

King Ryan wrote:
aptar wrote:That was really one of the best episodes I've listened to. Had a perma smile the whole time. I thought he might be really awkward and have no chemistry, but he's actually hilarious.


Yeah, well done.

"Was that the first time you've been to MSG not as a player?"
"Well I was there as a healthy scratch a few times."

I wish I'd remembered to send some question about how he never took penalties but AV always used him to serve bench penalties. I always loved something about that.


the thing that wellwood said about management being assholes, not players - i think i see where benning and desjardins are coming from: they're basically trying to be like david brent/michael scott from the office
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #45 by Tripwyre » Thu Apr 21, 2016 11:42 pm

We can probably get Kyle to come back at some point, he seemed like he had a good time and lives pretty close to John. So hold on to those questions, they'll probably still get posed at some point.
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aptar
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #46 by aptar » Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:12 am

From that same Benning interview, did he not say he wanted a 45/35 split from the goaltenders next year? And then paused awkwardly. This man is a national treasure.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #47 by King Ryan » Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:46 am

Tripwyre wrote:We can probably get Kyle to come back at some point, he seemed like he had a good time and lives pretty close to John. So hold on to those questions, they'll probably still get posed at some point.


He said something about Yaletown - does he live in Yaletown? Maybe we're neighbours too.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #48 by Tripwyre » Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:56 am

I don't know. John's in Olympic Village and he said something like it only took him five or ten minutes to get there.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #49 by Hooker » Fri Apr 22, 2016 10:16 am

Demko signed.
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Re: 2016 offseason tire fire thread

Post #50 by Killface » Fri Apr 22, 2016 12:24 pm

King Ryan wrote:Just about anyone else and you'd assume it was in jest, but with Benning...

And it was just last week that he went on and on about the Canucks picking 3rd in the draft. He clearly doesn't understand how the odds work.

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