Bachelor party advice

and other failures by our esteemed colleague Malthus
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Macbeth
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Post #101 by Macbeth » Tue Jun 24, 2014 1:38 pm

Is Tinder a good place to find mariage material womanladies ?
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Post #102 by AD » Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:06 pm

Macbeth wrote:Is Tinder a good place to find mariage material womanladies ?


I have a buddy who went through about a dozen "date/dinner/fuck" encouters until he fell on a pretty decent gal. Has been in a relationship for a few months now.
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Post #103 by Macbeth » Tue Jun 24, 2014 2:46 pm

AD wrote:I have a buddy who went through about a dozen "date/dinner/fuck" encouters until he fell on a pretty decent gal. Has been in a relationship for a few months now.


I have'd no such luck.

I'm no Bouseur, mind, but still... I thought I was marriable.

:forever_disillusioned_with_brownman:
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Post #104 by AD » Tue Jun 24, 2014 7:56 pm

What hapenned to the big fat slob you were shackin' up with before?
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Post #105 by Macbeth » Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:06 pm

AD wrote:What hapenned to the big fat slob you were shackin' up with before?


Well, I left my mom - unlike others who still enjoy their company - near 10 years ago. She's been pretty much flying solo ever since.

I've bounced from fat turd to ugly cumditch in the meantime, and am now looking for something serious, to settle down... or just some undiscerning slampiece.

Also, I cherish my privacy. I'm no Hockeysense. I'll tell Fido and you next week.
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Post #106 by MP » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:39 pm

Lord Chezz wrote:Well that was a hot mess.


Good. Fucking. Times.


Glad you had a blast, any details that can be discussed on a public forum?

I've got my 2nd bachelor party of the year coming this weekend.... Unfortunately, it's my last good friend to tie the knot, so until 2nd round starts, it should be my last raucous bachelor party.
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Post #107 by AD » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:42 pm

I was at one this weekend. Back from Tremblant yesterday. Among the things I can mention, we played hockey. This was my first game in pert near 5 years. I'm still in pain.
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Post #108 by Craig » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:45 pm

The last bachelorette that K went to was her, the bride, and two of the bride's corporate lawyer friends. They ended the night by meeting up with the groom at a club at like 11:00. They talked about corporate law a lot.
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Post #109 by MP » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:47 pm

AD wrote:I was at one this weekend. Back from Tremblant yesterday. Among the things I can mention, we played hockey. This was my first game in pert near 5 years. I'm still in pain.


Tremblant is a great bachelor party destination. I've probably already said too much...
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Post #110 by Dog » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:48 pm

Craig wrote:The last bachelorette that K went to was her, the bride, and two of the bride's corporate lawyer friends. They ended the night by meeting up with the groom at a club at like 11:00. They talked about corporate law a lot.


Cool!
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Post #111 by SidorkiewiczsPeter » Wed Jul 09, 2014 12:58 pm

I got invited to my friends bachelorette party a few weeks ago, it was very nice. We got brunch early on, then went to an outside patio type bar place and drank a lot, then went to another bar, then I went home. It was splendid. Then at the wedding there was roughly 100 people at the wedding, and there were only 2 single people at the entire thing, and I was one of those freaks. The numbers have not been exaggerated either.
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Post #112 by NyQuil » Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:31 pm

Was the other single person attractive?

Sounds like destiny in a feel-good rom com.
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Post #113 by AD » Thu Jul 10, 2014 1:29 pm

Did anybody ask if the other single person was a man?

Edit: Not that there'd be anything wrong with that.
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Post #114 by NyQuil » Thu Jul 10, 2014 2:46 pm

AD wrote:Did anybody ask if the other single person was a man?

Edit: Not that there'd be anything wrong with that.


The ratios are much better if you don't care about gender.

I'm just trying to help a brother/sister out.
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Post #115 by MP » Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:00 pm

NyQuil wrote:The ratios are much better if you don't care about gender.

I'm just trying to help a brother/sister out.


SidorkiewiczsPeter is into incest?
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Post #116 by NyQuil » Thu Jul 10, 2014 3:23 pm

MP wrote:SidorkiewiczsPeter is into incest?


There was nothing in his description of the evening that negated that possibility.
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Post #117 by SidorkiewiczsPeter » Thu Jul 10, 2014 8:28 pm

Unfortunately no, very homely even by my standards, and really really loud and loves to talk a lot, and a lawyer.

I don't like to brag, but most of my friends are very progressive, so like, my friend doesn't like to adhere to gender stereotypes when inviting people to her bachelorette party.

The wedding could have turned out like a good romcom since on the way there I blew a tire and missed the ceremony, but made it for the reception.
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Post #118 by MP » Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:08 am

SidorkiewiczsPeter wrote:Unfortunately no, very homely even by my standards, and really really loud and loves to talk a lot, and a lawyer.

I don't like to brag, but most of my friends are very progressive, so like, my friend doesn't like to adhere to gender stereotypes when inviting people to her bachelorette party.

The wedding could have turned out like a good romcom since on the way there I blew a tire and missed the ceremony, but made it for the reception.


It took a whole ceremony to put the donut on? :stare:
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Post #119 by SidorkiewiczsPeter » Fri Jul 11, 2014 10:43 am

MP wrote:It took a whole ceremony to put the donut on? :stare:


The ceremony was actually only about 10-15 minutes, they had their friend get ordained online and had him do it.

Also, my spare tire had no air in it, so I had to call roadside anyway. Plus I was on the side of the highway, and changing a flat on the highway is on my list of fears. Yeah I responded with a serious answer, what of it?
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Post #120 by NyQuil » Fri Jul 11, 2014 11:15 am

SidorkiewiczsPeter wrote: Yeah I responded with a serious answer, what of it?


Image
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Post #121 by NyQuil » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:57 pm

It's one of the reasons I switch my own summer/winter tires now. Tighten my nuts by hand.

Pneumatic tools can make it impossible to switch them yourself.
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Post #122 by AD » Fri Jul 11, 2014 2:59 pm

I also tighten my nuts and lubricate the shaft by hand. I'm interested in this pneumatic tool idea though NyQuil. Please go one.
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Post #123 by NyQuil » Fri Jul 11, 2014 3:00 pm

AD wrote:I also tighten my nuts and lubricate the shaft by hand. I'm interested in this pneumatic tool idea though NyQuil. Please go one.


I cast that line out into the proverbial sea, and reeled in a whopper.





Are we still talking in code?




























We're talking about sex, right?
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Post #124 by Macbeth » Sat Jul 12, 2014 12:56 pm

Lord Chezz wrote:Well I bumped into two of the combatants from last weekend. We helped each other full some of the memory gaps.


Good fucking lord is all I have to say.


Life in Shediac is that boring, eh ?
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Post #125 by Macbeth » Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:31 am

Lord Chezz wrote:Strippers and ribs, bro. strippers and ribs.


Everything I hate in all of humankind and life itself ! :bert:
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Post #126 by AD » Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:22 pm

You live a life of alcohol, sex, sadness, emptiness and cheap depravity?
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Post #127 by AD » Mon Jul 14, 2014 2:28 pm

The Bytown Boozer wrote:You shouldn't leave out the drugs, Banane.


My mistake. My body is a temple. I don't do drugs. Even at bachelor parties.
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Post #128 by PPJ » Mon Jul 14, 2014 10:13 pm

Macbeth wrote:Everything I hate in all of humankind and life itself ! :bert:


He didn't say female strippers.
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Post #129 by Macbeth » Mon Jul 14, 2014 10:42 pm

The Bytown Boozer wrote:My whole life is a bachelor party.


I'm really in need of new friends. Wanna... uh... wanna hang out ?

Psycho Papa Joe wrote:He didn't say female strippers.


I don't like male strippers either. I like males, generally, but abhor that profession.
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Re: Bachelor party advice

Post #130 by PredsFan77 » Thu Mar 29, 2018 5:37 pm

CDX.NA.IG.9









[LEFT]Image[/LEFT]
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Re: Bachelor party advice

Post #131 by chicpea » Thu Mar 29, 2018 9:02 pm

When opportunity knocks
up a stranger
feeling
free for a handful
of dollars and hours,
brace yourself,
pace yourself,
encase yourself, surely:
your fingerbings
are gateways
to babies and showers.

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