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and other failures by our esteemed colleague Malthus
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edgar_dong
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Post #1 by edgar_dong » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:22 am

[CENTER]Image[/CENTER]
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Post #2 by Tom » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:51 am

Image
What if you found a portal to a parallel universe? What if you could Slide into a thousand different worlds? Where it's the same year, and you're the same person, but everything else is different. And what if you can't find your way home?
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Post #3 by Gibby the Best » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:56 am

Image
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Post #4 by Captain Roy Bringus » Wed Jun 25, 2014 2:38 pm

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Post #5 by IcE ColD » Wed Jun 25, 2014 3:17 pm

"Wait what? That hobo is the last one to have put his weiner in there!?!?? No fucking thanks, I'll do the job the old fashioned way!"
Society is actually a bunch of flawed primates guided by selfishness, fear, and superstitious bullshit.

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Post #6 by MP » Wed Jun 25, 2014 3:26 pm

Captain Roy Bringus wrote:The blow job machine we were promised is finally here.

http://www.iflscience.com/technology/automatic-sperm-extractor-introduced-chinese-hospital


So how long before some pornstar decides to challenge the machine in an ejaculation contest?
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Post #7 by zamboner » Wed Jun 25, 2014 8:16 pm

Big deal. The strip-club in Rigaud, QC had a couple of those back in 2003 already.




EDIT: Ok, I see that this one isn't entirely made of metal.
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Post #8 by Pennywise » Wed Jun 25, 2014 9:45 pm

[YOUTUBE]BfdFygZqarU[/YOUTUBE]
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Post #9 by Gibby the Best » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:07 pm

Image

Even if it's real, I'm not going to Prince George.
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Post #10 by senate » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:27 pm

Transplanted Caper wrote:Image

Even if it's real, I'm not going to Prince George.


Image

http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/

The original newspaper advertisement seeking a partner for time traveling was written by John Silveira and published as filler in the September/October 1997 issue of Backwoods Home Magazine.[25] After his publisher, Dave Duffy, asked him for something to help fill up the classifieds page, Silveira wrote up a personal ad seeking a girlfriend and the time travel ad as a joke, using the same P.O. box numbers for both ads. As of October 2010, he had received thousands of responses to the time travel one and only five for his personal ad.

Online, the ad gained notoriety after the first “Safety Not Guaranteed”[1]YTMND site was created by axlbonbach on October 27th, 2005. As of May 2013, it has more than 1.3 million views. The background music is Paul Engemann’s “Push It To The Limit” [2] from the 1983 movie Scarface.

[...]

In 2011, it was announced that the ad will be adapted into a full feature comedy film titled “Safety Not Guaranteed”[16] starring Aubrey Plaza, Mark Duplass, Jake Johnson and Kristen Bell. Scheduled to be released in 2012, the movie is about two magazine employees who head out on an assignment to interview a guy who placed a classified ad seeking a companion for time travel.


And the pretentious indie movie trailer:

[YOUTUBE]73jSnAs7mq8[/YOUTUBE]
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Post #11 by Mufasa » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:30 pm

IcE ColD wrote:"Wait what? That hobo is the last one to have put his weiner in there!?!?? No fucking thanks, I'll do the job the old fashioned way!"


What if it was a beautiful men with good clean body hygien?
Outside point of view wisdom™

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Beaker wrote:I publiclay apologies to Mumu.
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Post #12 by AD » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:41 pm

Did that movie get released?
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Post #13 by senate » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:49 pm

AD wrote:Did that movie get released?


Wikipedia says it made $4 million in box office, so apparently yes.
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Post #14 by AD » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:51 pm

We truly love in a great age.
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Post #15 by Mufasa » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:52 pm

AD wrote:We truly love in a great age.


You mean young age, surely.
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Beaker wrote:I publiclay apologies to Mumu.
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Post #16 by AD » Wed Jun 25, 2014 10:53 pm

Weird typo that I'd associate the words "age" and "love". Weird.
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Post #17 by IcE ColD » Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:22 pm

Mustafa wrote:What if it was a beautiful men with good clean body hygien?


rawr :rape:
Society is actually a bunch of flawed primates guided by selfishness, fear, and superstitious bullshit.

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Post #18 by Mufasa » Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:57 pm

IcE ColD wrote:rawr :rape:


I wish i was a beautiful men with good clean body hygien...

:(
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"Don't be afraid, those are mens, just like us" - Piton Ruelle



Beaker wrote:I publiclay apologies to Mumu.
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Post #19 by SidorkiewiczsPeter » Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:53 am

I liked Safety Not Guaranteed, but I also have a thing for Aubrey Plaza.
You miss 100% of the saves you don't make - Peter Sidorkiewicz
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Post #20 by Craig » Thu Jun 26, 2014 11:41 am

senate wrote:Wikipedia says it made $4 million in box office, so apparently yes.


Did Plaza flick her bean in this one too?
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Post #21 by mayoradamwest » Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:52 pm

Image
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Post #22 by RTWAP » Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:50 am

SidorkiewiczsPeter wrote:I liked Safety Not Guaranteed, but I also have a thing for Aubrey Plaza.


I was a little disappointed that it ended when it did, but yah, I enjoyed it.
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Post #23 by senate » Fri Jun 27, 2014 10:57 am

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Post #24 by Hooker » Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:37 pm

Eh, we showed them how to do it.
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Post #25 by Bow Tie » Fri Jun 27, 2014 4:09 pm

VLoo wrote:The Canadian version, as like many other Canadian versions, is decidedly subpar.
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Post #26 by Slick Nick » Sat Jun 28, 2014 12:41 am

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Post #27 by Dr_Chimera » Sat Jun 28, 2014 12:48 am

Transplanted Caper wrote:Image

Even if it's real, I'm not going to Prince George.


Have you been recently defrosted?
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Post #28 by chiclet » Sat Jun 28, 2014 2:38 pm

I wear one of these bad boys at work

Image
According to local lore, Christ didn't commit any miracles while residing in Japan, but instead was just an extremely pleasant fellow to be around.
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Post #29 by senate » Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:36 am

[YOUTUBE]qKHeXC7L85s[/YOUTUBE]
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Post #30 by Dr_Chimera » Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:54 pm

[YOUTUBE]7SS-wk1o0L0[/YOUTUBE]
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Post #31 by mayoradamwest » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:31 am

Image
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Post #32 by senate » Wed Jul 02, 2014 11:20 am

Image
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Post #33 by IcE ColD » Wed Jul 02, 2014 2:50 pm

Ian Rapoport ‏@RapSheet
Out-of-context line from Burbank/Graham ruling that made me laugh: “Tight ends typically have significantly more girth than wide receivers”
Society is actually a bunch of flawed primates guided by selfishness, fear, and superstitious bullshit.

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Post #34 by Slick Nick » Wed Jul 02, 2014 10:18 pm

Image
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Post #35 by IcE ColD » Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:29 am

Fuck you Nick
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Post #36 by IcE ColD » Thu Jul 03, 2014 2:29 am

So not gonna sleep
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Post #37 by Artie » Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:19 am

Image
:mkbét::lr: :lr:

OOOH yeah life goes on, long after the thrill of Vinny is gone

It's too bad all the people that could really run the Habs are busy doing talk radio, writing blogs or posting on message boards.

Now, Lajoie is an imbecile, a cretin and a plagiarist, who to use author Dany Laferrière's deliciously withering expression, "lives beyond his intellectual means."

...as serious as a poutine shortage in Chicoutimi during a curling bonspiel...

Haddock wrote:I wouldn't know anything about that. I gave my soul up when I swore allegiance to the goddamn queen.


:lr: :lr: :lr:
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Post #38 by SidorkiewiczsPeter » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:32 am

I actually used to find Opie and Anthony funny in high school.
You miss 100% of the saves you don't make - Peter Sidorkiewicz
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Post #39 by edgar_dong » Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:17 pm

Slick Nick wrote:Image


2004. What a ride it has been, fellas.
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Post #40 by Captain Roy Bringus » Thu Jul 03, 2014 3:27 pm

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Post #41 by Hooker » Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:27 pm

[nsfw]http://www.mallorcadiario.com/concurso-de-felaciones-a-cambio-de-copas-gratis-en-magaluf/[/nsfw]
Jesus, Spain. Look at all those premature ejaculators.
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Post #42 by Fruity Pebbles » Thu Jul 03, 2014 8:50 pm

So basically she just had to touch her mouth to 24 dicks? What a great deal.
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Post #43 by Bernie Bernbaum » Thu Jul 03, 2014 9:03 pm

Bad news for guys number two through twenty-four: guy number one was having a herpes outbreak.
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Post #44 by Gibby the Best » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:09 pm

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Post #45 by edgar_dong » Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:16 pm



I would love to catalogue this under the greatness of our age, however this type of shenanigan is going by the wayside. : (
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Post #46 by NHL33 » Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:18 pm

SidorkiewiczsPeter wrote:I actually used to find Opie and Anthony funny in high school.

They're pretty full of themselves for a mediocre act, but they did bring literally weeks worth of Patrice O'Neal to the airwaves so I guess it somewhat balances itself out.
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Post #47 by Retarder S » Thu Jul 03, 2014 11:28 pm

[YOUTUBE]Mivt9Ld7jGY[/YOUTUBE]
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Post #48 by senate » Fri Jul 04, 2014 2:02 am

[nsfw]http://i.imgur.com/bxiB37U.gif[/nsfw]

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