Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

and other failures by our esteemed colleague Malthus
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Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #1 by VLoo » Tue Aug 18, 2015 5:43 pm

How are the Broads bowel movements treating them as of late? Discuss.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #2 by Lifer » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:37 pm

I had a phenomonal late birthday dinner on Saturday night.

Shellfish tower, wedge salad, lobster bisque, bone-in fillet, lobster mac and cheese, Brussels sprouts, au gratin potatoes, truffle fries, flowerless chocolate cake, and creme brulee cheesecake.

Washed it all down with some bourbon and espresso for dessert.


The next day, I had a phenomonal shit.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #3 by TGR » Tue Aug 18, 2015 9:57 pm

Sounds like you gave birth.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #4 by Zardoz » Tue Aug 18, 2015 10:42 pm

I had an emergency-911 shit situation yesterday. Was on my way back on a walk and just getting to my porch. Made it inside, ran up the stairs got my underwear off and frantically turned my ass towards the toilette but on the way into a sitting position half the round exploded all over the toilet seat. Probably one of the lowest points of my adult life.

The shit contained curry and coconut quiche, a dairy queen chocolate and salted caramel truffle blizzard, some chicken and mango sausage, a pint of Guinness and salad.
[CENTER]Image[/CENTER]
[SIZE="1"]Bring us your idiots, your hussies, your blue and your dreamy. Your steady, your huddled, your fisted and creamy. Your villains, your filthy, your cunts and your meese. Your carpenters and fishers and pastors and beasts. Your rednecks, your Safas, your trolls and your Brits. And like all good sailors, we like us some tits.[/size]
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #5 by VLoo » Tue Aug 18, 2015 11:53 pm

Image
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #6 by vonbonds » Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:21 am

VLoo wrote:Image


Dong finding that smiley will make him a 2 time consecutive broads MVP.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #7 by TGR » Wed Aug 19, 2015 12:34 am

Ever been so drunk you shit yourself?
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #8 by BlackRedGold » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:50 am

Bloody hell.....
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #9 by Lifer » Wed Aug 19, 2015 7:30 pm

TGR wrote:Ever been so drunk you shit yourself?


My buddy has once.

There was a handprint on the wall next to the toilet.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #10 by TGR » Wed Aug 19, 2015 8:51 pm

I once did but it was only because I couldn't make it to the toilet. I was walking home from a bar downtown in my hometown and it went from there...
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #11 by PredsFan77 » Wed Aug 19, 2015 9:26 pm

I had a shit today that was two different colors some was green, some was brown.
CDX.NA.IG.9









[LEFT]Image[/LEFT]
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #12 by Lifer » Wed Aug 19, 2015 10:00 pm

Beef and broccoli?
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #13 by PPJ » Thu Aug 20, 2015 10:41 pm

Bits and bites.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #14 by Lifer » Tue Sep 01, 2015 3:07 pm

Had a dream about pooping last night. Distinctly remember the phrase, 'a nice, clean duke.'
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #15 by TGR » Tue Sep 01, 2015 3:26 pm

Not poop related but it was a fart.

I let a fart go today in my apartment right before it hit the second floor. Sure enough somebody was going to the first floor from the second... They got what they deserved.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your poop.

Post #16 by Retarder S » Fri Sep 11, 2015 5:47 pm

My dad came to visit, but I had to take one of those massive shits that you take once a month or so. Needless to say, my flat is quite small, so awkwardness ensued. I'm glad this thread is back.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #17 by Slick Nick » Sun Sep 13, 2015 10:32 pm

Hopefully Mumu will keep us posted on his transition to sprouts.





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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #18 by R-66Y » Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:06 am

Image

The reapers have grown :)
This one is not ripe yet but I picked it anyway. I will update with how my butthole is when I eat and subsequently shit this out
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #19 by vonbonds » Tue Sep 15, 2015 9:42 am

Are you going to eat the penis worm at the end too?
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #20 by R-66Y » Tue Sep 15, 2015 12:33 pm

Of course
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #21 by TGR » Tue Sep 15, 2015 2:24 pm

RIP.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #22 by R-66Y » Tue Sep 15, 2015 3:46 pm

Only had a tiny bit so far. It's fucking HOT. I like it though
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #23 by MP » Tue Sep 15, 2015 3:56 pm

R-66Y wrote:Only had a tiny bit so far. It's fucking HOT. I like it though

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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #24 by Slick Nick » Wed Sep 16, 2015 1:08 am

Today was not a good day.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #25 by PPJ » Thu Sep 17, 2015 1:03 pm

Robert Palmer was a mighty fine lad. He's missed.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #26 by vonbonds » Fri Sep 25, 2015 8:16 pm

Went to the Domican Republic for 5 days. Been dealing with "Travellers Diahrea" since I returned Wednesday night. Remember to drink from bottled sources even at the airport on the way home, that was my mistake :donger:
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #27 by MP » Fri Sep 25, 2015 8:44 pm

Drinking water period is dumb when in the Caribbean...
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #28 by vonbonds » Sat Sep 26, 2015 12:43 am

Who said I drank water?
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #29 by AD » Sat Sep 26, 2015 12:15 pm

Sucking multiple strangers cocks in public bathrooms is also not suggested.
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Post #30 by VLoo » Sat Sep 26, 2015 2:55 pm

Why?
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #31 by AD » Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:15 pm

Cooties
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #32 by vonbonds » Sat Sep 26, 2015 3:15 pm

AD wrote:Sucking multiple strangers cocks in public bathrooms is also not suggested.

:paranoid:
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #33 by edgar_dong » Sat Sep 26, 2015 4:46 pm

I still haven't been tested since raw dogging that prossie back in May. Image
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #34 by VLoo » Mon Sep 28, 2015 7:20 pm

Have had some real solid dumps(literally) and easy wipes the past few weeks. Have probably jinxed myself by posting this, but now i have this to come back to when I've lost all hope and toilet paper.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #35 by AD » Mon Sep 28, 2015 9:48 pm

Diet change? Less alcohol?
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #36 by VLoo » Tue Sep 29, 2015 12:17 am

Less booze is the likely culprit. Not really on purpose, just have been busier and not as much time to sit alone in the dark in my basement.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #37 by R-66Y » Tue Sep 29, 2015 7:23 pm

I have been pooping a lot the past 2 days. Actually stayed home from work yesterday because of it. Annoying, sticky loaves which take a zillion wipes each. My butthole is pretty sore from the toilet paper. Thank God we use Kirkland and not scotts.

I think we should get a bidet, especially for situations like this
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #38 by MP » Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:10 pm

R-66Y wrote:I have been pooping a lot the past 2 days. Actually stayed home from work yesterday because of it. Annoying, sticky loaves which take a zillion wipes each. My butthole is pretty sore from the toilet paper. Thank God we use Kirkland and not scotts.

I think we should get a bidet, especially for situations like this

Would you but be raw if you used quality TP though?

Also, I reach for the baby wipes in those messy situations...
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #39 by vonbonds » Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:28 pm

Pull a Howard and go straight the the shower.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #40 by TGR » Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:30 pm

MP wrote:Also, I reach for the baby wipes in those messy situations...


I really need to try this. Shit caught in ass hair isn't fun.


:donger:
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #41 by R-66Y » Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:56 pm

MP wrote:
R-66Y wrote:I have been pooping a lot the past 2 days. Actually stayed home from work yesterday because of it. Annoying, sticky loaves which take a zillion wipes each. My butthole is pretty sore from the toilet paper. Thank God we use Kirkland and not scotts.

I think we should get a bidet, especially for situations like this

Would you but be raw if you used quality TP though?

Also, I reach for the baby wipes in those messy situations...

Kirkland is good tp. For some reason, I always forget to use the baby wipes
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #42 by vf » Wed Sep 30, 2015 12:05 am

TGR wrote:
MP wrote:Also, I reach for the baby wipes in those messy situations...


I really need to try this. Shit caught in ass hair isn't fun.


:donger:


Just get in there and tear them out.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #43 by VLoo » Wed Sep 30, 2015 2:07 pm

vonbonds wrote:Pull a Howard and go straight the the shower.


Sometimes it really is the only play.
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #44 by R-66Y » Mon Oct 05, 2015 4:35 pm

I hate when it's hot and sticky
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #45 by R-66Y » Sun Nov 29, 2015 6:52 am

Waking up before 7 am with a multi-flush dump makes sense when you've had 3 thanksgiving dinners in 3 days
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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #46 by mooseOAK » Sun Feb 21, 2016 11:53 am

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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #47 by R-66Y » Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:10 pm

Antibiotic shits are the worst
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Post #48 by vonbonds » Thu Mar 03, 2016 10:17 pm

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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #49 by R-66Y » Sun Mar 06, 2016 8:51 pm

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Re: Back by popular demand... Tell us about your Mega Fucking Deuce

Post #50 by R-66Y » Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:32 pm

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