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My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:04 am
by Dr_Chimera
Jesus Christ, it is fucking hideous. Caught myself in a mirror today at the mall, from a corner of my eye and gollee - not a pretty picture. Maybe not Beaker-level ugly, but still.

I do have my hair, but everything else is going to shit as I grow older.

That and I'm dumber than a donkey's asshole.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:22 am
by shredz
I ammmm too sexy for this thread. Too sexy to hit submit. Too sexy, I fit in shirts.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:33 am
by PredsFan77
maybe try and exercise

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:38 am
by shredz

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:03 am
by Dr_Chimera
PredsFan77 wrote:maybe try and exercise


Oh hell no

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 4:50 pm
by Retardé S

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:16 pm
by Dr_Chimera
My 40s are gonna be a fucking shitshow. Probably going to grow into a big fat whale like Orson Welles, but without the nice voice or charisma.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:29 pm
by shredz
Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:43 pm
by Dr_Chimera
Me at parties.

Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:44 pm
by AD
Dr_Chimera wrote:My 40s are gonna be a fucking shitshow. Probably going to grow into a big fat whale like Orson Welles, but without the nice voice or charisma.


He also has a pretty face. Prettier than yours I'm just assuming. You could be very facially harmonious but chances are, Orson has you beat there too.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:47 pm
by Dr_Chimera
AD wrote:He also has a pretty face. Prettier than yours I'm just assuming. You could be very facially harmonious but chances are, Orson has you beat there too.


Orson was a hot piece of ass.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:24 pm
by shredz
Orson Swelles here with my latest on dessert, course twelve.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:55 pm
by senate
Dr_Chimera wrote:
PredsFan77 wrote:maybe try and exercise


Oh hell no


Two words: synthol oil

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2018 10:08 pm
by MP
Dr_Chimera wrote:
PredsFan77 wrote:maybe try and exercise


Oh hell no

Crystal meth seems to work for weight loss...

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:22 am
by Dr_Chimera
My hero.

Image

Welles leaves his Army physical after being judged unfit for military service (May 6, 1943).

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:52 pm
by Dr_Chimera
This is the new standard in male beauty. I simply can't compete.

Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:54 pm
by shredz
Standard where? Peter Gunn's house?

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:02 pm
by Dr_Chimera
My ass looks like Tommy Lee Jones's ass.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:06 pm
by shredz
Quick! To the Fatmobile! Two-Cheek escaped Gotham Penitentiary!

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:41 pm
by chicpea
Dr_Chimera wrote:This is the new standard in male beauty. I simply can't compete.

Image


I sent you that very chain last year.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:48 pm
by shredz
chicpea wrote:
Dr_Chimera wrote:This is the new standard in male beauty. I simply can't compete.

Image


I sent you that very chain last year.



:stare:

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 6:55 am
by PredsFan77
what does TOmmy lee jones' ass look like?

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:51 pm
by shredz
Two genetically modified giant Apriums.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 8:10 pm
by Dr_Chimera
I have grown a huge fucking face all of a sudden like Will fucking Wheaton.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:55 am
by shredz
Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:23 am
by senate
Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:15 am
by shredz

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:27 pm
by AD
Look up Orson's marshmallow peeps ad.

And then thank me gentlemen (preferably through some form of fake rep mechanism)

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:00 am
by PredsFan77
Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:23 am
by shredz
Welles in Newsweek. Come on Doc, call him a CIA patsy now.

16 examples of Welles whoring himself out before he dies by Newsweek - https://www.newsweek.com/16-hilarious-e ... ing-329227

Thank me now. Before even clicking hit that: Image

Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 8:34 am
by shredz
Looking healthy yet, Doc?

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 10:25 am
by shredz
flâ·neur wrote:Looking healthy yet, Doc?


Image

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sat Sep 29, 2018 10:49 am
by shredz
: )

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 1:42 pm
by Dr_Chimera
Could we ban flanuer from my thread plz? Craig?

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2018 2:34 pm
by Craig
I don't think we can do that any more. That was an old broads feature.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:15 am
by shredz
I can only delete one post in a thread? I'm trying to help my pal Chimera out.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:30 am
by Dr_Chimera
One day I shall be thin and you will still be the director of the brown bunny.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2018 11:34 am
by shredz
Pray my metabolism slows down. I'm honestly surprised I am not a fucking whale. I'm 5'11 185.

Figure a few years from now I'll be fucked, bobbing for meatballs in marinara sauce.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2018 10:08 pm
by Dr_Chimera
Stuffing my huge fat face with eggrolls rn.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2018 9:08 pm
by vonbonds
Egg rolls is a great name for a registered nurse

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 11:09 am
by shredz
The Chimera is the daughter of Greek monster gods Typhon and Echidna; its siblings include the Sphinx, Cerberus, and Ladon.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2018 12:25 pm
by shredz

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:52 pm
by Dr_Chimera
I love bears. This here is my favorite one, and the writeup on him is hilarious.



This bear is a dominant adult male. He can walk normally, but his stiff-legged gait is purposeful. He’s “cowboy walking” (no joke, that’s what it’s called) to display his size and dominance. While he cowboy walks, he’s also urinating on the ground to mark his presence in the area. He rubs his back on the tree for the same reason. His gait, the cowboy walk, is intended to show other bears that he is dominant.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:31 am
by mayoradamwest
Christina Aigulera would like to remind you that you are beautiful no matter what they say, and words can't bring you down.


Hugs.

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2018 1:13 pm
by shredz
Hey, rotund friend.


Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 5:21 pm
by shredz

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2018 9:01 pm
by Dr_Chimera
Have you tried the 'all beef' diet? I have gone a step further with 'all roast beef.'

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2018 2:14 pm
by shredz
Al Qaeda might as well have put a fatwa out to annihilate your heart when that shit explodes. Don;t do it.

:why:

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2018 2:49 pm
by AD

Re: My body is unseemly

Posted: Sun Nov 04, 2018 8:01 am
by shredz
Post Malone :rudy:

More like Post-Calzone, Aint that right, felleas?