Ten/10

and other failures by our esteemed colleague Malthus
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chicpea
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Ten/10

Post #1 by chicpea » Sun Aug 05, 2018 9:53 pm

I am ensnared with a woman. She is a ten out of ten. It's awful. She has really nice dresses. She likes Leonard Cohen. She likes Twin Peaks and David Lynch. She is a ten out of ten on the beauty. But that's not so important. I think she has money. She is very taken with me. She wants to go to the holiday inn but she is reluctant because she is married. Should I try a different motel?
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Re: Ten/10

Post #2 by Dr_Chimera » Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:00 pm

Steal her nice dresses and keep them for yourself.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #3 by Boring Choice #2 » Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:01 pm

She likes Leonard Cohen. She likes Twin Peaks and David Lynch.

From everything you have described, you might be better suited going to the Motel 6, or a more local hourly place.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #4 by chicpea » Sun Aug 05, 2018 11:43 pm

Dr_Chimera wrote:Steal her nice dresses and keep them for yourself.


She is eleven inches taller than me.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #5 by PredsFan77 » Mon Aug 06, 2018 12:20 am

I'd like to dedicate this song to my good friend chicpea, it's helped me when I was caught in a trap


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Re: Ten/10

Post #6 by chicpea » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:32 am

Dr_Chimera wrote:Steal her nice dresses and keep them for yourself.


I keep thinking about this.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #7 by Dog » Mon Aug 06, 2018 9:49 am

chicpea wrote:
Dr_Chimera wrote:Steal her nice dresses and keep them for yourself.


She is eleven inches taller than me.


You don’t need to wear them to enjoy them, Chic.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #8 by vonbonds » Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:23 am

Be selective chicfu. Think carefully about occasion and shoes when pilfering fabrics from her
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Re: Ten/10

Post #9 by senate » Mon Aug 06, 2018 1:21 pm

Have you never courted a woman before? Seal the deal with a dick pick.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #10 by AD » Mon Aug 06, 2018 2:28 pm

Go old school. A good knock on the head and drag her back to the cave for a night of romance. Then wear her clothes and heels and make-up and impress her with a drag-show when she wakes up. My recipe for success.

Good luck Chics!
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Re: Ten/10

Post #11 by chicpea » Mon Aug 06, 2018 8:03 pm

There is such a wide array of advice. It’s like an advice buffet on a cruise ship.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #12 by chicpea » Mon Aug 06, 2018 10:23 pm

PredsFan77 wrote:I'd like to dedicate this song to my good friend chicpea, it's helped me when I was caught in a trap


......


That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I am glad you shared it with me during this awful time in my life and not sooner or later. You have a knack. You are very appropriate in my opinion.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #13 by chicpea » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:17 am

Things are getting complicated quickly. She's angry I cancelled my dentist appointment. She seems very controlling. Maybe a control freak? She wants to know my parents' names but I am definitely keeping them back. It's my ace in the sleeve. The oldest trick.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #14 by Dog » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:21 am

Maybe she just doesn’t like dirty teeth?
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Re: Ten/10

Post #15 by AD » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:33 am

Dog wrote:Maybe she just doesn’t like dirty teeth?


Or people who don't respect previously established time-commitments.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #16 by Dog » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:55 am

AD wrote:
Dog wrote:Maybe she just doesn’t like dirty teeth?


Or people who don't respect previously established time-commitments.


Well, maybe his dentist is a long walk away and he got there a little late. No big deal. Why is she being such an uptight little CUNT about this?

Jebus!
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Re: Ten/10

Post #17 by AD » Tue Aug 07, 2018 1:48 pm

Well how can't he fucking plan ahead once in a while and fucking stick to the promises he made? Were they empty from the start? Why did he say those things then? I'm tired of being hurt by people who aren't genuine and honest.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #18 by Dog » Tue Aug 07, 2018 1:59 pm

Chic, were you taking your dentist for granted? Thinking he’d always be there for you no matter what you do as long as you pay him good money?
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Re: Ten/10

Post #19 by AD » Tue Aug 07, 2018 3:55 pm

... or was it just transactional for you? From the start? Just an exchange.. no emotions... no love...

You disgust me...
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Re: Ten/10

Post #20 by chicpea » Tue Aug 07, 2018 5:24 pm

I wish I were joking. But things have just come to an end over Tibet. Irreconcilable differences as far as I am concerned.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #21 by PredsFan77 » Tue Aug 07, 2018 5:53 pm

I'd like to dedicate this song to my good friend chicpea, it's helped me when I was caught in a trap

CDX.NA.IG.9



















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Re: Ten/10

Post #22 by chicpea » Tue Aug 07, 2018 6:39 pm

That is the greatest thing I have ever seen, prode. Even better than the Elvis song about Tibet. I appreciate your help and kindness.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #23 by Dog » Tue Aug 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Were you for, or against, Tibet?
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Re: Ten/10

Post #24 by PredsFan77 » Tue Aug 07, 2018 10:24 pm

The chinamen are not the issue here, Dog.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #25 by AD » Tue Aug 07, 2018 11:56 pm

They always are, Predz.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #26 by Shawnathan Horcoff » Wed Aug 08, 2018 12:50 am

Drag 'er by the ankle(s) so you can tighten that thing up with rocks. Image
Also, let's keep this thread about Galchenyuk's on-ice performance, development and value and NOT bring in his personal life or race.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #27 by chicpea » Wed Aug 08, 2018 5:09 pm

She is literally a member of the communist party and thinks I am not a pragmatist. It is the first time I have discussed Mao before I have seen someone naked.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #28 by Dog » Wed Aug 08, 2018 5:28 pm

chicpea wrote:I have discussed Mao before I have seen someone naked.


She seems to have a fair point on the non-pragmatist claim.
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Re: Ten/10

Post #29 by Boring Choice #2 » Wed Aug 08, 2018 7:39 pm

She is not a real communist if you haven't seen her naked yet. :colbert:
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Re: Ten/10

Post #30 by PredsFan77 » Wed Aug 08, 2018 7:57 pm

this isn't a chick who built the railroads here
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Re: Ten/10

Post #31 by senate » Sun Aug 12, 2018 3:48 pm

Have you tried to telling her "I have a means of production you can seize right here, baby" while pointing at your genitals and thrusting your hips?
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Re: Ten/10

Post #32 by Dr_Chimera » Sun Aug 12, 2018 4:00 pm

AD wrote:Go old school. A good knock on the head and drag her back to the cave for a night of romance. Then wear her clothes and heels and make-up and impress her with a drag-show when she wakes up. My recipe for success.

Good luck Chics!


This is the way real men did it before the SJW's took over the world.

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