My body is unseemly

and other failures by our esteemed colleague Malthus
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Dr_Chimera
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My body is unseemly

Post #1 by Dr_Chimera » Fri Sep 14, 2018 12:04 am

Jesus Christ, it is fucking hideous. Caught myself in a mirror today at the mall, from a corner of my eye and gollee - not a pretty picture. Maybe not Beaker-level ugly, but still.

I do have my hair, but everything else is going to shit as I grow older.

That and I'm dumber than a donkey's asshole.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #2 by flâ·neur » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:22 am

I ammmm too sexy for this thread. Too sexy to hit submit. Too sexy, I fit in shirts.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #3 by PredsFan77 » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:33 am

maybe try and exercise
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #4 by flâ·neur » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:38 am

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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #5 by Dr_Chimera » Fri Sep 14, 2018 11:03 am

PredsFan77 wrote:maybe try and exercise


Oh hell no
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #6 by Retardé S » Fri Sep 14, 2018 4:50 pm

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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #7 by Dr_Chimera » Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:16 pm

My 40s are gonna be a fucking shitshow. Probably going to grow into a big fat whale like Orson Welles, but without the nice voice or charisma.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #8 by flâ·neur » Fri Sep 14, 2018 5:29 pm

Image
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #9 by Dr_Chimera » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:43 pm

Me at parties.

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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #10 by AD » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:44 pm

Dr_Chimera wrote:My 40s are gonna be a fucking shitshow. Probably going to grow into a big fat whale like Orson Welles, but without the nice voice or charisma.


He also has a pretty face. Prettier than yours I'm just assuming. You could be very facially harmonious but chances are, Orson has you beat there too.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #11 by Dr_Chimera » Fri Sep 14, 2018 7:47 pm

AD wrote:He also has a pretty face. Prettier than yours I'm just assuming. You could be very facially harmonious but chances are, Orson has you beat there too.


Orson was a hot piece of ass.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #12 by flâ·neur » Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:24 pm

Orson Swelles here with my latest on dessert, course twelve.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #13 by senate » Fri Sep 14, 2018 8:55 pm

Dr_Chimera wrote:
PredsFan77 wrote:maybe try and exercise


Oh hell no


Two words: synthol oil
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #14 by MP » Fri Sep 14, 2018 10:08 pm

Dr_Chimera wrote:
PredsFan77 wrote:maybe try and exercise


Oh hell no

Crystal meth seems to work for weight loss...
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #15 by Dr_Chimera » Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:22 am

My hero.

Image

Welles leaves his Army physical after being judged unfit for military service (May 6, 1943).
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #16 by Dr_Chimera » Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:52 pm

This is the new standard in male beauty. I simply can't compete.

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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #17 by flâ·neur » Sat Sep 15, 2018 12:54 pm

Standard where? Peter Gunn's house?
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #18 by Dr_Chimera » Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:02 pm

My ass looks like Tommy Lee Jones's ass.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #19 by flâ·neur » Sat Sep 15, 2018 1:06 pm

Quick! To the Fatmobile! Two-Cheek escaped Gotham Penitentiary!
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #20 by chicpea » Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:41 pm

Dr_Chimera wrote:This is the new standard in male beauty. I simply can't compete.

Image


I sent you that very chain last year.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #21 by flâ·neur » Sat Sep 15, 2018 2:48 pm

chicpea wrote:
Dr_Chimera wrote:This is the new standard in male beauty. I simply can't compete.

Image


I sent you that very chain last year.



:stare:
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #22 by PredsFan77 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 6:55 am

what does TOmmy lee jones' ass look like?
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #23 by flâ·neur » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:51 pm

Two genetically modified giant Apriums.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #24 by Dr_Chimera » Mon Sep 17, 2018 8:10 pm

I have grown a huge fucking face all of a sudden like Will fucking Wheaton.
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #25 by flâ·neur » Tue Sep 18, 2018 9:55 am

Image
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #26 by senate » Tue Sep 18, 2018 10:23 am

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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #27 by flâ·neur » Tue Sep 18, 2018 11:15 am

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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #28 by AD » Tue Sep 18, 2018 8:27 pm

Look up Orson's marshmallow peeps ad.

And then thank me gentlemen (preferably through some form of fake rep mechanism)
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #29 by PredsFan77 » Wed Sep 19, 2018 4:00 am

Image
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Re: My body is unseemly

Post #30 by flâ·neur » Wed Sep 19, 2018 8:23 am

Welles in Newsweek. Come on Doc, call him a CIA patsy now.

16 examples of Welles whoring himself out before he dies by Newsweek - https://www.newsweek.com/16-hilarious-e ... ing-329227

Thank me now. Before even clicking hit that: Image

Image

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